I looked at it again, the mountain. The giant colossal beast standing in front of me – unwavering and unflinching. Its top piercing the dark night sky and its bottom pressing hard the helpless ground. It extended far in the east and disappeared somewhere in the west. Both ends languishing in the dense mist and the dark shadows of the unknown. How can I overcome this? This challenge. This Mountain.
I stared hard at this monolithic beast, the one mocking me with its size and volume, daring me to try and fail. Again and again. Repeatedly. Many times. Until I was exhausted. Until I was broken and until it had confirmed its supremacy and proved my doubts right.
A swift wind rushed down from the mountain, bringing me out my reverie. It made a rustling sound as it swept through the trees, making me aware of its presence as if it was a living thing. Breathing. Observing the way a predator observes its prey. Waiting for it to come within reach. Then pound on it.
I looked around. The loneliness started growing on me. Every moment of this journey whispering in my ears, the tales of the many mortals who had perished, died trying, in dueling this creature, this brute, with no mercy.
Turn back. Go away, adeep voice hissed in my ears. Turn back. Be sane. Give up this wild fantasy of yours.
But I can’t, I told the voice.
Yes, you can, the voice, almost whispering now. This is just a green dream of a green boy. A fantasy. A folly. A fiction of your mind. Look back to what you can have. There are easier goals. Simpler objectives. Softer paths.
“But, I can’t.” I heard myself saying.
Yes, you can. It is easy. Just turn and leave and sleep in the comforts of your soft bed. And it will be nothing but a dream by the time you wake up in the morning.
Maybe, I can turn back. I thought. I can go back, easily, at this very moment. Nobody will hold me for going back. Yes, a few will mock me, behind my back. May be. May be they’ll say that they knew it, that I didn’t have it in me. But then how does it matter? I’m not the first one to fall. Nor I will be the last. Eventually everyone will forget. And I can live in my comforts …
Yes, I can . . . but . . .
But you won’t, I heard a voice, a different voice this time. A voice coming from somewhere deep within me. A voice that I had learned to ignore, learned to bury beneath skepticism, doubts, and what others said about me. A voice of my commitment. That I often ignored.
The voice continued saying…
You can’t give up. For you will know it, even after years, deep in your heart, that this day, today, you had turned back when you had the choice to go on, to give it a try, to purse your dream. To make it happen; that you gave up on one thing which you had loved for, and aimed at, and believed in; that you were the deserter, the quitter, the one who gave up when you could have went on . . .
. . . and the awareness of this fact will kill you, slowly and gradually, for the rest of your life, like a knife that is dug deep into you, slowly, to make you bleed, but not deep enough to give you an instant death, rendering you into a body with a life but no soul. A book with pages but no words. And a journey with a path but no destination.
And then a faint glow appeared, behind the mountain, as if Sun was finally rising up, giving me hope, giving me purpose. It turned the dark sky first into dreamy grey, then into a mix of orange and purple hue.
The dark cover that had obscured everything was lifted by that light. A path appeared where it was only wild and ruin a moment before. Darkness ebbed and retreated both from outsides and from within my mind. And I took a stance to walk ahead like a bird getting ready to take flight towards a destination thousand miles away, ready to take the first step of the rest of my life.
What is your purpose in life?
I have often wondered about the infallibility of time. Its ability to go on and on with or without us. Like an arrow shot from a cosmic bow, it is traveling since eternity towards an unknown target on a journey which seems to be neverending. And we are just a passenger on this train, for a moment, and then our journey will end and turn to the dust like everyone else did before us. Which then begs the question – what is our purpose on this planet, what is our purpose in this life? … Continue reading here