I have been avoiding you.
In the office, at cafes, during movies and when the group hangs out. I know this must be puzzling for you. We didn’t fight. We didn’t have any argument. The last we talk it was all hunky dory. But then suddenly, I broke off.
Office meetings are the most difficult. You and I sitting across the table. I act as if I am completely absorbed in the meeting. You sit completely absorbed in the meeting. I take notes, interjecting meeting with my thoughts, time and again. I act as if you are not sitting there, at all. I scribble & steal a glance. Still, at the corner of my eye, I observe you. I don’t know what you are thinking. None, nothing, nada. Your poker face does not reveal anything.
Am I better off not talking to you? Umm… I don’t know. Do I miss being with you? Yes. Do I want to be together with you again? Yes. Should I be together with you again? ……No.
I loved a star when I was a kid. I was in love with the twinkling, every night. Then my Maa told me that they are far far away from us. And nobody can have them. I was heartbroken. But she told me to love the star anyway. Love has an infinite capacity. Even more than the star’s distance from us. You don’t need to have a star physically with you. You will always have a star, in your heart, if you truly love it.
You are like that star of my life. You twinkle, you shine, you look pretty & happy. But you are far from me. I don’t need you beside me. I can have you the way I had that star.
I can love a star. Again.