Ten years is a long time. Isn’t it? During this period, I have completed four years in an engineering college, worked for four years in two companies, and survived two years of MBA. It indeed is a long time. I remember the last time meeting you. I guess it was the second day of the month of May. We used to meet often then. After that day, though, the meetings stopped.
The memories of that day is still fresh in my mind. It was a warm day, very pleasant, with summer afternoon wind caressing everything in its wake. Everything felt calm and tranquil. Everything was at peace. But then, I had felt always like this, when I was with you, around you.
I guess it was your presence which did this, somehow molding the air around you, and making everything peaceful. There was cacophony everywhere else, a noise that was distracting at times, and deafening at others. But with you, I always felt peaceful. Always. On that day too, I was at peace, lost in my thoughts. I didn’t know it would be our last meeting.
Times change, people change, relationships change too. And with all this, we also change.
I was questioning a lot about the world, the hypocrite attitudes around me, the people fighting, and the pain around me. Most of all, I was worried about I accepting things which I am not sure they existed. Most of all, I was questioning about your existence and my faith.
What was our relationship, what does it mean?
From a very young age I found you an intrinsic part of my family. My parents worshiped you, and expected me to do the same. But does this mean that I should just accept you in my life, just because they have accepted you? We have a right to choose our friends, no? Trust is not something which you enforce onto someone, it needs to be cultivated. YOU had not earned it. So why should I?
Ok, you may say the same about me. I don’t say that I did everything right. But then you are free to write your own BLOG. This is my point of view, my BLOG
And a minor correction. I, not we, used to meet often. It was me who used to arrange the meetings. It was me who used to come to meet you at your place. It was me who had this unshakable faith and love for you. It was me who used to think about you in the time of both happiness and grief.
But what did you do?
You never showed any interest in me. Then why I should I need to do things for you.
During the last ten years I passed through your abode many times. You must have definitely seen me. But you never called me, not even a simple sign? No. Hah. so why should I call you. Relationships are mutual, you can’t clap using one hand.
But today things changed.
I didn’t plan for it. I accompanied my mother. I never thought she was going to meet you. I thought I would just need to drop her off at the market. But she was going at your place. I saw her leaving from the car. I stayed back. After taking a few steps she turned back and gave a nod, indicating me to join her. I wanted to stop, but suddenly I found myself transfixed and looking at you with a touch of nostalgia.
I turned ignition off. And followed her trail.
My mother rung the bells, did her usual things whenever she visits your home. She was all happy, serene, and like a true guest she visited all of you, and greeted you. I followed her with a feeling of strange void in me. I realized that something that used to fill me up once wasn’t there anymore.
Ten years of separation hadn’t changed a thing. You were still the same. With wide smug grin on you face you still looked at me with sympathy but as usual there was no empathy. You never called me, stopped me to ask me why did I never came back to you. Everything remained just the same. Such a heartless soul you are, no?
May be you are incapable of reciprocating. Between these years, I was alone a lot of times. I had no one to lean back at times of travesty. I cried alone. Fought alone. I have languished in pain hoping to have somebody to lean on. When you were there, I could always look up to you for a hope, for guidance. What about you? You were never alone. Your homes was always decorated, always visited, full of people, admirers, followers, worshipers.
May be you are like this only. Selfish. You only take things from us. Our time, attention, devotion, love but what do you give back. Nothing. Still we come to you, admire you, worship you. This makes me think that we, humans, are capable of utter devotion, faith, love and affection. The only remorse I have is that we have decided to give all this to you, instead of other fellow humans.
Only if we could see that the true worship is in caring each other, servicing mankind and devoting our resources to the need of others, that the world requires more roofs for the homeless, and more food for the hungry, then only the world would be a better place.