So I guess this is how it feels to be falling in love. The way it feels to be standing on the edge of a cliff. To bend a little and have a glance at the bottomless depths. To be in doubt. To be in fear. To be thrilled. And then in a state of childlike wonder, lift one foot off the ground, and lean a little more. To tell yourself that you are just looking. That nothing is going to happen. That it’s just one time you’re doing this. Just for the fun. For the high. For the thrills.
But then you see what is out there.
The abundant space. The never ending depths. The pure light from the sky. An earthy fragrance from the ground.The swift wind from the mountains. And an almost harmless earth below. Its patches of green and blue and brown — like a magic, a dream, a heaven. A world which is beyond imagination. And you feel that it is right. That it means something. It is a sign. An omen which you should believe in. And you get sucked into it, to this wonderland of promise and pleasure and purpose.
Wonderland Of hope.
It’s a high you have never felt. The drug you have believed never existed. You wake up in your dreams, and you dream while wide awake. You laugh without reason. You sing songs you had forgotten. A constant happiness fills your heart. A state of eternal euphoria. A feeling that the world is not a bad place after all. That you can live. You can survive. A world in which you can get up in the morning. Get cleaned up. Get dressed. Get outside in the handsome sunshine and embrace every atom of the life that is out there.
And you have felt all this, while still on the edge of that cliff, with only a promise of love. It’s just the beginning. Just a start. You haven’t even tasted love yet. And yet you find it so satisfying, so illuminating, that you say fuck all, fuck everything and lean a little more, more in love, for you want to taste it now, more than you ever had. Then, at some moment, without you even realizing it, you give up the control, give up the hold on earth. And soon, you are falling in mid-air, falling down in love.
In love you fall, you fall in love.
Down and down, slowly at first, then fast, then faster, and then fastest than anything out there. The world is a blur. Only patches of colors. This or that. Something or the other. For it doesn’t matter now. For you have stopped caring. A new world you now live in. A new world you have created in your mind and heart, which doesn’t give a fuck about the actual world out there. That world no longer exists for you. You are falling in love. And that’s what matters.
Falling in love you realize how it feels to be a hatchling.
A baby bird which hasn’t taken its first flight yet but is finding herself in mid-air. She doesn’t know what needs to be done. It’s her first time, too. The first time of this mixed feeling of an extreme thrill and certain danger, both existing simultaneously within her tiny heart. She doesn’t know yet that she has wings, silly, that she can spread them and fly. That something exists within her that can remove this danger and take her to a life above the clouds, into a blue sky.
Still, there is a fleeting realization that calls her, beckons her to believe in herself. To believe her instincts. And in this belief, she opens out her tiny wings. Catches some air. Fumbles on it, at first. Grapples at it, clumsily, awkwardly. But then slowly, she adjusts, she calibrates, she improves. And the wind that was so strange only a moment ago, becomes one with her, with her body. She starts with gliding on it. Slides on it. Catches it further still. And then realizing how beautiful it is, how beautiful the life is, learns midair to embrace the fall.
To embrace the love.
And then for you, like for that bird, the descent slows down. For you and bird are weightless now. Like air itself. And when the earth is as close as it could ever be, you make a swoop. An arc. Graceful as the arc of a rainbow in the summer rain, you fly higher and higher and higher, into the world above in sky. Into the world of love.
For love comes like a thief into your life with silent steps, and hushed breath, you being totally unaware of its intrusion, lost in your own life and then when it is deep inside your comfortable zone, it will invariably make a sound, and you will open your eyes, in sudden realization of reality. The difference being that you’ll not be afraid anymore. You will be in love instead.– Read about what Real love means in – Realization of love.
Also published on Medium.